call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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