I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I touched a dick in church today
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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