i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have fence marks all over my body
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
