she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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