Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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