Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
