Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I need a beard to bite.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
