My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
