I heard we made out
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
