dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
