im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize