Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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