I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
