Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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