My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize