I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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