I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
