i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
