The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
