More tranny stories later!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
