No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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