We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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