I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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