I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize