Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
