i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
