It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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