can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
