sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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