What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We named our party play list daddy issues
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
