I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
4 words: hood of his car
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
