3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
