No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize