I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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