Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
