I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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