She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
