I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
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My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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