Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
