I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize