guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
