Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
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