just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
