Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just found puke in my bra..
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize