Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
