Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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