their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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