And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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