Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
