my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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