playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
