Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I need moral support for this bender
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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