you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
