Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Who died my cat blue again?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
