apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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