guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she woke up with a sticky ear
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
